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We have heard that Autism is a Plague, A Disease that needs to be Stamped Out.
Nothing is Further from the Truth. Do not be swayed to believe this lie.
Teach your Autistic child as you would any child but with an understanding that this child just may have some unconventional ways of learning. This does not make the process invalid - Any way in which a person learns is a valid way. It does take a little more work to find the right method in which your child learns, though. A little hard work for a parent is not too much to ask to help a young mind take flight.
If your child can concentrate better if they are not looking in the eyes of the person teaching a lesson does this mean they will not comprehend? Absolutely not. I can see a person and their movements without looking directly at the person. Facial expressions mean very little to an autistic person as we do not use them much, if at all.
A different way of viewing the world and unusual learning methods does not mean that a person is defective or genetically bad. It just may be one of the ways in which the great minds of the past created wonderful new inventions. They (not unlike the Autistic folks today) saw the world in a different light. Einstein thought of his theory of relativity by wondering what would happen if we rode on a beam of light. It's that type of "thinking outside of the box" that most Autistics are very able to do, naturally.
I've heard many talk of stamping out and curing Autism and cannot imagine the harm being done to the children whose parents say these things in front of their Autistic child. Can you imagine someone speaking about you as if you were a plague or disease to be wiped out? These parents say "It's not my child I want wiped out, it's their Autism." But can't they see that Autism or the Autistic mind is the very Being of that person. It's the way we think, the way we feel and the way we interact with the world. If you take all of that away from us, then all that is left is a shell of a person mimicking folks that they can't truly understand, people so very foreign to them. These children that you teach to pretend "they are cured" now extinguish their own unique abilities so that they can work on "appearing" to be one of the drones they see around them.
Always on the outside, looking in at the world around them. Eventually, this catches up with them as they become more and more depressed sometimes not even knowing why they are unhappy. Not understanding why everything in their life goes so terribly wrong.
PDD/NOS or Autism - What Now?
These are my own personal observations and learning methods that I tried with my youngest son when he was young. My son was diagnosed High Functioning Autistic. I am also the grandparent of a grandchild diagnosed High Functioning Autistic, too.
I do not have a degree in early education, if that makes a difference to you. My son and my grandson both communicate well with others now, although both had delays in their early years. My son and grandson did not begin to speak until after they were three years old. You would never think that either were delayed in speech now as they are both very confident in speaking with others. This change might have happened without any help from us, the parents, I suppose I will never know. It is possible that they both just might have begun to talk later in their lives.
I am giving my own account to other parents just so many of you can understand you do not have to spend hundreds of dollars to teach your child basic learning methods. I believe that a parent can be the most important teacher a child can have and many of the things I bring up in this article can be done with little or no money involved.
I have seen (through the efforts of my son and daughter-in-law) that a pre-school designed to work with autistic children in the early years seem to be very beneficial to a child's early development . Pre-school is only beneficial, though, if both the parent and the teacher work together to find the method that best suits the young child. I am not talking ABA methods of training/punishment here and don't even talk to me about a Cure for Autism as I am strongly against such outlandish ideas.
These are my ideas and the ideas of my son and daughter-in-law which may or may not be helpful to you but are free for you to try for yourself, if you'd like.
Please also realize that only a trained physician can give your child an official diagnosis of Autism. Any questions pertaining to specific symptoms should be talked about in detail with your family doctor.
PDD/NOS and Autism
Many parents are hearing these words for the first time from their child's pediatrician or perhaps from a friend or family member. Possibly you, like me, have scoured libraries, bookstores and the internet trying to find out everything you can about autism. I'm sure by now you have heard the horror stories, and you have thought silently, with a sense of dread…is it something I've done, is it something I've exposed my baby to…..is it something wrong with my child, something terribly wrong?
I am here to say, Calm yourself. If Autism is your child's diagnosis, then you are the parent of an autistic child and there is absolutely nothing to dread about that.
Perhaps you should know that your autistic child is not going to perceive the world in quite the way you thought they would. Your teaching methods will be different from most parents of neurotypical children - this is a fact. As the parent of an autistic person, you will surprisingly find as you teach your child and help him/her to learn about the world, your own way of viewing the world will also change.
Welcome to your child's world
The autistic child has quite a different way of learning, seeing and communicating with the world and you. This is because of the difference in their neurological make-up and not because of a defect, damage or disorder as a few narrow-minded people believe.
Many young autistic children may exhibit the following symptoms:
He or she seems less demanding of your time and attention.
Many autistic children seem to prefer to be alone, away from a crowd or a gathering of friends & family.
Many autistic children cry when there is a lot of activity or commotion surrounding him/her.
Autistic children do not seem to react when you call their name (almost seemingly to have hearing loss) or sometimes they appear not to notice when you come in to or leave the room.
If your child is not attempting to use words, communicate or speak at all and they are at least 18 months old, perhaps you should consider talking to your family doctor about this, and while you're at it, why not a try a different learning method than you are presently using.
You should remember that your child may not be autistic to have some of these symptoms. Only a trained physician will be able to diagnose or determine this. Even if your child is not autistic, it would be a good thing to begin a specifically designed early education method to help your child learn to communicate and interact with his or her world. One thing is for sure, every child is different and each has their own unique style of learning.
You Might Have Noticed That Many Neurotypical Children...
1) Respond to their name with smiles and eye contact at an early age.
2) Point to objects wishing to share items of focus or interest with you.
3) Mimic the activities or actions of adults or others, quite often interacting with interest.
4) Respond emotionally to others when they see them laugh or cry.
Autistic children do very few of these types of things. It does not mean they are not watching, listening and learning though. Interaction can be different for them.
Autistic children play in different ways, too. They might be more interested in the movement of their own hands or with non-toy objects such as a bit of yarn or keys. They will focus intently on these items using repetitive movements sometimes, with a slight variation or possibly with extreme consistency.
If toys are used, many times they are played with in unique ways such as grouped according to color or lined up in a certain order(sometimes this order is known only to your child). Spinning or throwing an object is also an activity of many autistic children. It is unknown to me and to others whether these activities are learning methods or possibly the routine of this type of play is calming for the autistic child (could it possibly be both?)
I do not see the harm in such activities and feel they should be allowed to explore in this way, as all children have their own way of interacting with their world.
If you are presently trying to get your autistic child on a "waiting list" for pre-school and are looking for the next step in what to do, so that your child will learn to communicate with you and others, here are a few things that were helpful to my son and my grandson and may be beneficial to your children, too.
Remember ALL children are different and have different learning methods.
Also please note that these things helped our children but your child may have an entirely different way of learning and interacting with the world.
Your childs way of learning about the world is not wrong (since there is no absolute right) neither is it invalid. It may be that his or her way of learning is just different from other children. Different is not bad. I refuse to believe that there is just one right way to learn that can be used for all children. I also refuse to believe that harsh treatment, hitting, yelling and scolding are appropriate ways of teaching autistic children (…or any child for that matter).
Many of these little ones have sensory issues that make interaction difficult in addition to being autistic.
Sounds loud or even the most subtle of sounds such as a buzzing light can upset and confuse them and can send them into a sort of shutdown mode (which to many uneducated people may look like a temper tantrum or an act of defiance). Other sensory issues can be sensitivity to bright or flashing lights or to textures (clothing and food texture issues are difficult for many autistics)- if your child is crying or appears to become upset at various times of the day, look around them to find the key to their discomfort.
Touch
Many autistics do not enjoy light feathery touch (which can almost seem painful or irritating) but will very much enjoy rather bouncy-almost-rough type play such as wrestling, rough-housing and tickling. They prefer heavier (light pressure) contact of a hand to hugs which can seem possibly too confining to the child. This type of rowdy rambunctious interaction is sometimes a good thing for parents and autistic children to do occasionally.
Dancing, Rocking and Twirling were my sons favorite things to do. These are things Parent(s) and Child can do together, too. Trying to get your child to show interest in what you are doing is a good "first goal" in interacting and eventual communication with them.
I think autistic children sometimes feel they are interacting with their parents and do not realize that verbal communication is what is wanted. I know my own son made his needs known when he wanted something to drink, he would pull on my shirt or pants and tug me over to the refrigerator or hand me a cup and then possibly whine or cry if I did not move fast enough. To him, that was communication. Other times crying until I took him away to a quieter corner of the house was his way to tell me he was overcome with the activities around him. He did not verbalize his feelings but made it known to me in no uncertain terms. Talking was probably not even considered as he was making his thoughts understood.
Many times I would try to show my son something, thinking he was not paying attention to me because he was looking at something else in the room, only to find him later doing the thing I had shown him and doing it exactly the way I had done it! He was taking it all in without looking directly at the activity.
At times, it can be hard for your child to make his needs known to the parent especially when they do not know the reason for their own discomfort. A tummy ache may mean that they are hungry for example.
Mimicking Actions
The first thing I tried to do to get my son's attention was mimic his movements and actions and verbalizations. My son had a stim (a sort of sensory stimulation thing) of rocking and bumping his head on objects such as a wall, a door, his bed or anything he could think of.
So that he would not hurt his head, I would try to pad the area with a pillow but I saw this as his own calming technique so I allowed him to do this whenever he found it necessary as long as his head was safe from harm.
Sometimes I would sit along beside him and rock (also my favorite stim) while bumping my head gently into the pillow with him. Some days he would not acknowledge my presence and some days he would.
Many times I would say his name during this activity and other days, I would sing a nursery rhyme or song that we both knew. If my son made sounds I would try to duplicate the sounds myself. My goal was to show him the art of mimicry. To mimic others was a learned activity and it did not come naturally to him to think of.
Musical Interaction
Music (and making music by shaking jingling bells a tambourine or making a drum out of a spoon and pan) and dancing as a way of communication was very effective too. It doesn't matter if your singing voice is perfect, sing activities such as getting dressed or brushing hair or teeth making up the words as you go. It can sure help the time go more smoothly.
Unconventional Interaction
Some of the things I would try to help my son verbalize and use words to communicate with me were methods that seemed like things you would try with a hearing impaired child or a vision impaired child to communicate (remembering that NO method of learning is wrong). While watching her or his favorite video or show (such as Sesame Street/Elmo or equally educational children programs) when a word is introduced, say the word on your child's hand or up against their cheek or arm if your child doesn't wish to have his/her hand touched. Using sign language is also a good way to show that everything has a name or label. The use of sign language will not keep your child from learning to use words later in their life but will help to strengthen the visual picture in their head of what the child is trying to convey or communicate to you….and that's always a good thing.
Using sign language
My son and grandson started communicating through sign language and little by little replaced the signs with words although sometimes they both still use sign language along with speech to communicate. When they do this now, it appears to be no more than hand gestures to other people. You can get books on basic sign language at your local library at no cost.
Routines are essential
One very important thing to start early with your young child is a routine. Many families now-a-days are rushed and routines are rarely put into use as flexibility becomes more and more an important part of modern life. Becoming flexible with time, will be a lesson for another day and another time for your autistic child. Starting at square one with a simple routine will help your life to run a lot better.
It is really important for a daily routine to be in place for your autistic child and this is why; Routine helps an autistic child make sense of the world around them and also keeps them in a more calm state of mind because they will know what to expect without the disruptive changes that cause anxiousness in your child. If your child seems to be going through a few "meltdowns" during the day with a lot of screaming and crying, you might try to gradually implement (with their input, of course) a very simple routine such as a scheduled time for eating, napping, watching a favorite show or a certain activity, cleaning up and learning/interaction time with mom and/or dad.
Post your routines on a board (poster board or something like this) using pictures of activities and one or two words for describing the activities of the day. You can even put a clock face into the routine such as 12:00 p.m. Is time for Lunch. You can go with some of the times of day that your child seems to do best with particular activities such as eating or napping. Example: My grandson is not an early morning breakfast person and needs a bit of time after waking up before even thinking about eating something...so...go with the flow of what works best for your family and your child, to begin with.
Everything has a Name
To help your child to verbalize his/her needs label EVERYTHING in your house that your child uses. Use pictures and words together. Example: make a card with a picture of your child's bottle or cup (either a drawing or an actual picture) on the front with the word Drink under the picture.
When your child is trying to communicate their need for something to drink, hand them the card, say the word and then take the card along with the bottle/cup to the refrigerator to get the drink. This is also a good time to use the sign word for drink. Even if your child is not looking at you and seems to not be taking in this info, believe me, they are. It may not be long before your little one will conceivably bring the card to you or sign the word for drink when they are thirsty. Try it and see. These cards get very torn up so if you can, you might want to get them laminated (some libraries can help you with this too for a very small fee).
There are many words for the same thing in the English language, which later on in your child's educational future, can be talked about to show that there are different ways of saying the same thing, again this is a lesson for another day.
During the first steps towards communication, try to use the same word each time when trying to communicate an idea (remember, autistic children like familiar routines). Example: At first, try using 2 or 3 word phrase, Ex;"Want a drink?" Or "Want milk, juice, (whatever)?" Try whatever works for your family when using the "drink card." Are you thirsty is sometimes a hard concept, at least it was for my son, so you may want to wait a bit on that concept.
Later on, you can use other cards with the words "I want_______." Or "I like (to) _______" that can be used with the picture/word cards - this will help your child form sentences that are necessary for communication and surprisingly, will help your child to learn sight words and begin reading, too.
I've used many methods that would seem highly unusual to grab the attention of my son and grandson and thus showing them that I would like and enjoy their verbal input or I would like them to communicate ideas and thoughts to me. I always try to show them how happy this interaction makes me. When working/playing with your child, don't forget to cheer them on with lots of praises and encouragement. Good job! Yeah! That's right! You're Great!
Music and art seem to have been two major ways in which a bridge between us has been built early in our lives together. What bridge will you build?
My Advice, from one parent to another
My advice to you as a parent is this; Use lots and lots of patience and don't give up but do give things a rest. Watch your children to see what ways work best for them and love them unconditionally. Show them daily, that who they are and what they like is perfectly okay and valid. Have fun.
Please do not make them feel embarrassed to be themselves. I will never say that teaching an autistic child is easy, there is nothing easy about raising any child and it can be very challenging and quite draining at times but very worth all of the effort, I promise you this.
ALSO...try not to be swayed by the supposedly "good intentions" of a friend, teacher or family member that advises on "A good swat on the seat of their pants will straighten matters out."
I can't tell you how many times this ignorant piece of advice was given to me. I think it would be best to tell them with a knowing polite smile on your face to please, tend to their own affairs and butt out!
A Different Perspective
Your perspective on things can change sometimes, if you look at something in a different light or maybe at a different angle.
The “big picture” can seem altogether different when you allow yourself to see things from a different level.
Through the eyes of someone that has never encountered it before, Autism may seem odd, wrong or may even appear, to an uninformed neurotypical , like something that should not be allowed.
If one will only take the time to view Autism in a different light, they could see that Autism is a neurological “difference.”
They could then view “odd” as "unique" and the old idea that autism is a “disorder” would be replaced as "neurologically different or diverse" and hopefully the idea of defeating Autism could be eliminated from the minds of society entirely as the world begins to see that Autistic abilities and views are just as important and valid as any human beings insights are.
Thinking “outside the box” is one of our most unique abilities.
Instead of using up their energy trying to eliminate Autism, maybe parents, scientists, groups, teachers and other neurotypicals could be inspired to use their resources to study the way in which an autistic child learns best and then help the autistic child to build on his or her own unique style.
